Preparing for Birth

I hit the 20 week mark in my pregnancy on Wednesday of this week!  I can't believe that it is halfway over already.  Honestly, I'm looking forward to the later stages of pregnancy.  They are my favorite part of being pregnant.  I'm also really looking forward to experiencing labor again.  Labor really is a magical thing as much hard work as it is. The second trimester is a great time to start preparing yourself both mentally and physically for the task of labor and birth.  At this point in pregnancy, there is plenty of time to solidify plans, evaluate those you have chosen as your caregivers, and to find a place of confidence from which you will draw during the labor and birth process.  If you haven't already, the second trimester is the time to schedule your childbirth preparation classes, and to hire your doula if you are planning to do so. I wanted to take a few moments this morning to share with you how I am preparing myself for labor and birth the third time around.  Every pregnancy and birth is unique.  Mothers will find that each pregnancy brings a different set of needs, ideas, and hopes.  Because of this, I don't feel like relying on my past experiences with labor and birth, or even my experiences as a doula as enough to prepare for the birth of my third daughter.  I have chosen to actively prepare once again for this once in a lifetime journey. Earlier this week, I posted this quote on our Facebook page:"As explained earlier, the degree of pain a woman experiences in labor is strongly affected by her emotional state, her environment, and the attitudes of her attendants. Particularly with a baby in a difficult position, these aspects must be optimal for her to move forward." - Elizabeth Davis (world renown midwife and author) This quote was taken from her book with Debra Pascali-Bonaro, Orgasmic Birth.  I highly recommend the movie if you are planning to conceive or are on a pregnancy journey of your own. Taking into consideration this quote, we have some great advice to begin our preparations for labor and birth.  For most women, one of the greatest concerns they have about labor is how they will manage their pain.  It is fabulous to know that by doing a few simple things, you can create a situation for yourself that allows you to increase your pain threshold and reduce the need for outside medical interventions to decrease your experience of pain.  This quote is the guiding light of my birth preparations at this point in my pregnancy. The Emotional State: Finding a place where you can birth with confidence is the best thing you can do for yourself in pregnancy.  Spending your pregnancy exploring your relationship with yourself, your significant other, your children, and your extended family is so important.  These people will be your life support throughout the journey of pregnancy and motherhood, and in many situations in the labor room as well.  Reducing the possibility of tension between yourself and the people closest to you during the labor process is the first step in creating a state of emotional well-being. "Making time to vent emotions, either by speaking them aloud or writing them down, is necessary in order to sort them out.  Learning to differentiate your feelings from your partner's or any other intimate's is a principal lesson afforded by the Blood Mysteries (times of menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause), essential for finding your new self and new voice for the next phase of your life." - Elizabeth Davis Over the course of the last two months, I have surprised myself with outbursts of emotions that were held within and should have been given a voice long before now.  I've been working on giving a voice to feelings and concerns I have.  I had always thought that it was a sign of strength to not show emotion, but I have since found it weakens the body and the spirit.  I now know that releasing those emotions is healthier than holding on to them indefinitely.  Labor is not the time that you will want to just begin dealing with fears/emotions that might come up for you. Also, if you have experienced past birth trauma as I have, pregnancy is a time to revisit your feelings about what happened to you then, and how it may affect your labor and birth experience now.  I am approaching this pregnancy and birth from a very strong place of healing regarding my past birth experiences, and I am excited to have a new experience to add to these past ones.  Yet, I have found it necessary to approach this pregnancy and birth as a profound spiritual practice.  I have been training with Stephanie Dawn, the creator of Sacred Birth and author of the Sacred Birth Workbook, for over a year now in order to offer this approach to expecting mothers who seek to use their pregnancy and birth as a spiritual practice and use their spirituality to prepare for birth.  Her classes and workbook are my chosen childbirth preparation course this time around.  I feel like I understand well what is happening physically to my body in birth, and with her work, I am nurturing a healthy emotional connection to labor and birth, as well as equipping myself with spiritual tools that I can use in labor such as prayer, meditation, and affirmations to help me cope with the sensations I will experience. The Environment: The environment where you will give birth can have the biggest impact on how you will experience labor and birth.  The place and caregiver you choose for your birth is probably the most important decision you can make.  This time around, I have chosen a caregiver who is very thorough with me and takes the time to answer all of my questions in detail.  Because of my past experiences, and because I am a mother with special needs - VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) - I chose a caregiver who has extended experience in attending women such as myself in birth.  I am completely comfortable with the caregiver I have chosen and the quality of care I will receive as well as my ability to be comfortable in the place where I will birth. Every woman's comfort level with care providers and places of birth will be different.  For some, the hospital will be the most comfortable place, for others it might be home.  It is important to look closely at the needs of your pregnancy and the possible needs of your labor and birth when choosing a birth setting and care provider.  Interviewing care providers is a good idea before settling in to someone particular.  Also, know it is ok to change your care provider if you no longer feel comfortable in their care. A really good addition to the birth environment can be a doula.  I have chosen my business partner - Heather - as my doula this time around.  My sister who is also a nurse will be with me as well.  Part of a doula's job is keeping the birthing environment comfortable for the mother.  For example, one of my strongest memories with my second labor was nurses laughing loudly in the hallway.  I was having to vocalize loudly as I was experiencing back labor.  I was a bit self-conscious of this, and I had convinced myself that the nurses were laughing at me.  It made it very hard to concentrate on labor and it increased the pain I felt.  It made me cry.  My doula helped by telling the nurses that I was being disturbed by their congregating next to my room, and I calmed down as they moved on.  The lesson here is to have a birth team who understands your environmental needs, and can help you create a sanctuary for the birth of your baby. The Attitudes of the Attendants: As mentioned previously, along with birthing environment, those who will be with you during your birth - the birth team - will be among the most important decisions you'll make for your birth.  The most important of these will be your doctor or midwife and next your doula.  You should always feel respected by these attendants, and safe in their care.  You should always feel as if your thoughts and questions are heard and accounted for.  If they come into your labor room with a negative attitude or speak to you in a manner that makes you feel like you are lesser than or being disrespected, then this will impact the progress of your labor. You will no longer feel you are in a safe environment or protected, and your labor may stall.  For more information on Choosing a Care Provider and Choosing a Doula - click on the links.  You always want to ensure that you feel like you are the most important person in the decision making surrounding any needs that might come up during labor and birth.  Open communication is key to this.  This sort of relationship with your care provider is fostered during your prenatal appointments.  If you do not feel like you prenatal visits are adequate or what you would like for them to be, consider finding another care provider.  Why?  Think about what your labor and birth might be like with this same person that you already feel like is not giving you the care you feel you deserve. The next consideration is who else other than essential people will you have in the birthing room.  My recommendation is that everyone have a job to do.  You don't want to feel like a circus side show while you are trying to cope with labor.  Your labor is not a spectator sport.  You also don't want people in the room who are too nervous or overly emotional in difficult situations. I am planning on having my caregiver, my husband, doula, my sister, and my daughters (if all is going well and I still desire them there in labor).  Also, remember that your caregiver will likely have an assistant or several nurses which they will require in the room during the pushing/birthing stage of labor.  Most hospitals have a 3 person limit for non-personnel birth attendants, and that is a good rule.  The hospital room can fill up fast with nurses and nursing assistants depending on your needs, you baby's needs, and the desire of your caregiver. With these things in place, I am feeling confident that I will be ready come the day of birth for my third daughter.  It's so exciting and fun to plan for labor and birth.  I'm feeling strong kicks as I write, and I'm overjoyed to have this opportunity again.  I hope this helps you think about planning your labor and birth as well.  If you have any questions, feel free to email me at info@birthtrue.com, or comment below. Many happy days... Kelli